By I. A. Dickson
First, it is important to note that in searching for a life partner you must go for what sweats you. This is because no matter how good the character of a woman, there is going to be lot of problems if you don’t truly love her.
I’ve heard people say ‘you pray.’ Well, that is awesome and it’s what we’ve so grown up with and I am not against it if you choose to pray. But your prayers can never walk to the streets to tell a lady ‘I love you.’
So what are you going to do to really get it done?
I have read books and articles about marriage and “yes” you will never know the tests of marriage until you have that experience. In this article, I am going to share with you the steps to take and the ripe time to pray.
As you go out each day you come across beautiful girls and ladies, in most cases they look excellent wife material. Your imagination of getting her as wife can never happen if you don’t consider;
Talking to her
You are going to have to approach and tell the girl that you love her and want to make friend with her. At this point you lay a foundation for both of you to be close and likely share things in common. Now, some girl like to form – agreed; it’s ok you are going to face turn down but persist if that is what your heart goes for. Once you have her acceptance, you are going to behave responsible and give your time to that relationship.
In the cost of friendship with her you are going to study her, see her weak point, learn her likes, hates, character and way of life. “Learn to correct her and see if she takes correction too.” Check out her ambition, desires and know if you can stay 3 year or the next 20 years and more with her. Once you’ve got yourself a good friend who has the right qualities, then date her. This is when you ease your compatibility. Along the line, she may end up sharing the same values and same expectations of marriage. You both are either going to agree, disagree or even compromise. Little by little, you’ll assess how well you fit in her life when you must have learn about who she is, what she like or stand for, her expectation. She is going to assess how well you would fit in her life too.
Once you are okay that she has a bit of the quality you want in the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with and you are sure she is submissive to accept correction on the aspect she’s yet to met up. Remember, all this observations takes place within your few months in that relationship. “If she is the type that pack and leave your home with all her belongings whenever you had issues, or the type that says ‘I am sorry’ when you’re angry, or the type that wants you to spend more” – those are the writeup on the wall – if you can sense it.
If possible, keep such friendship with 2 or 3 girls – no strings attach. In the cost of time and as you carry like studies on both, you are going to feel within you which among them sweats you the more. After you are confident that she is the one, then comes;
Remember, you already have one out of two or three girls in mind. At this point you are praying for God’s help to make the right choice. God is surely going to come in when you pray. This is when most serious partners disengage and go separate way for a common issue. They end up feeling bad not knowing God is working a much more better partner for them.
It’s only in one out of thousands that God will openly say she is the one, otherwise, you are going to feel strongly within you that she is the one. You are going to keep liking everything about her, the way she walk, talk, her look and her way of doing things is become more interesting. You are going to like her eyeballs, shape, the way she catwalks and in fact she is going to sweats you the more. The feeling of having her by you is going to come more and more. Like signs and many more are confirmation.
Let her Know
After the confirmation, you are expected to let her know your intention – marriage. It maybe she had similar feelings for you and had prayed, believing God and expecting you to propose. Once both of you have gotten into agreement, she become most cherish. Not hurting anyone, your relationship with every other lady has to go down graduary, for the utmost and lifetime relationship.
Let her parents know
Before now, you must get to know her parents. No matter how you love a girl, make sure you get to know her mum well. You should have idea of her family background and character too before you conclude marrying her.
A girl who is deeply serious with you must have one or two members of her family she relate her move with you to, which is going to ease the process. You let her parents know. You are going to plan your wedding after getting the parents concern. As you plan the wedding you also upgrade your support to her. Get her a better job; if possible, let her attend seminars to boast her career.
Don’t ever go for marriage because of the stage you are in life. Life stage is base on a false/ shortened life span. Do not rush to make a girl you meet at a saloon or a nearby store the one so you don’t regret at 60 that she is not the one – you don’t want to stand the fact that you weren’t patient. You are surely going to meet a girl to marry but there’s no point rushing so you don’t get stressed up in a bad marriage than in single life.
It may interest you to read: “The Habit/ Character-plan Of A Single Lady”a must read for single ladies.
In trying to find the perfect person to be with you are many times going to end up with lots of heartbreak, disappointment and deep depression especially, when things don’t work out the way you want; what would you do best?
*Try get to that point you wouldn’t want to rely on anyone.
*Get your business or a good earn job and focussed on your career
*Go back to the university for a degree and continue with your agenda of being a better person. if someone comes later, that will be a plus because in between all ‘you are either going to find her or she finds you.
*Keep putting effort to developing and improving yourself and enhance your confidence rather than getting worried about marrying a woman. The more improved you are the more your chances of getting attractive to true partner;
a. Make friends: Just socialize and figure out who the “right girl” is. You must get to know her first. The more people you know is the more chances you have to meet that right woman. As you get to know her better you have better opportunity to determine if she have the qualities you want in the one you will call your wife. It is to your advantage if you can make friend with even those you don’t want to marry; because you will surely learn lessons that will be of help to your marriage relationship. Regardless of who you are or what your situation is, having the ability to create and maintain friendship is a great life skill.
b. Always have short description or list of the qualities you’re looking for in a girl.
c. Be patient and don’t rush d.
d. Be sure you’re making progress in developing your character too e.
e. Make sure you’re getting financially strong because you are going to take full responsible of her affairs.
f. Do not always put your mind on getting the right girl but as much as possible, be the right man instead, and you will find the girl you need for marriage on the way.
g. A life partner is different from a girl friend; you have to sort and assess before choosing one – don’t just choose.