My Journey To Motherhood: A Must Read

I think it’s time I dropped my childbearing story.

Thirteen years ago, aged 22, I married right out of university without the wisdom to realise the importance of finding my feet first. My husband was 11 years older than me. He wasn’t rich but I thought we loved each other. Youth service year I conceived but lost it right out of service.

Hubby was helped to get a good job, stable government job by my family. When I lost my first pregnancy, we were staying a few months with his parents due to our financial situation, my father in law said to me after that loss while my husband travelled “did your ladies in the water say to you that the day you give birth you would die?”

With the new job right after the loss, we moved back home and continued our lives. Three more miscarriages came along with many drama ranging from deliverances to traditional midwives to in law’s commanding the home.

Finally one day almost 5 years later, hubby travels and his father calls my aunty to tell her that “they don’t want to marry their daughter again”. I was at work when aunty broke the news to me. I travelled that night to the inlaws with my aunty and grand mother to beg, we were not given audience. They didn’t even open their gate despite we could see my husband’s car in the compound.

At 9pm my companions begged me to go home with them, I refused and chose to spend the night in a shed close by. The was no electricity in the neighbourhood, everywhere was dark. At midnight Power was restored, and from the shed I was hiding, I saw my father in law walking round the compound spraying incense, (he attended celestial church) I call out to him “daddy, daddy” obviously he hears me but does like I am a ghost.

At that point, I knew I was wasting my time, I started trekking. I trekked to the motor park which was very far, vigilantes stopped me numerous time and my tearful face made them not question me too much……a lot of drama in between, I traveled back and resume dwork while praying and fasting for his return. Mehn I lost weight without even trying. I met many scam pastors which are another story………

One day, I suddenly realized I may have the password to hubby’s Facebook, I tried it and it worked. What I saw pained me but it gave me strength knowing the break up wasn’t because of anything he was accusing me of (like saying a pastor revealed to him that I was sent into his life by Kingdom of darkness to destroy him. To this I asked if Kingdom of darkness gave jobs, he said he has repaid me ie Kingdom of darkness back in connecting me to the job I had then which didn’t last. Oh he wanted me to be paying my salary to him by the way).

So I got some courage to begin living again at this point and apply for a divorce. To this he also said “that good wives wait for their husbands no matter how long they go, but me I ran to apply because I want to remarry.”

We got to court and he was accompanied by his father and them claiming that hubby didn’t abscond but I did. Guess they were afraid I wanted to request compensation. Walking out of court, his father waves at me and I wonder why.
He was barely divorced then remarried and yes has kids now. Things went sour with my place of work and I relocated to a bigger city and that was my fresh start.

Met my husband two years after the divorce, I hid nothing from him especially my challenges with infertility. We got married same year. And got pregnant and miscarried. Second pregnancy for now hubby, I was put on cerclage, yet the pregnancy still ended and I almost ended with it as my body was going into shock due to its inability to dispel the dead foetus since a cerclage held the products in.

I had an history of pregnancy losses at 14 weeks. After 8 miscarriages and no living child, I visited more hospitals, met insensitive money alone conscious doctors, finally a correct diagnosis was made.

I had no demons worrying me, my womb was just too small to carry to term, it wasn’t expanding with the pregnancies. An hysteroscopy was the procedure used to diagnose this.

Getting a diagnosis at last was some sort of relief, but what can we do doctor I asked? Doctor said “have you considered adoption?” I was shattered.

I went home and discussed it with my husband. We agreed to adopt and we applied two years ago. We only just got feed back few weeks ago from them self.

Then one day I was on social media and I saw someone advertise needing a surrogate and like a light bulb the idea stuck, I wrote to the woman and we started chatting. One day her Status said she needed someone to donate blood for a relative of hers and I say where to an online stranger I had never met. That was the first day I met my good friend Mrs R. I also put up an advert for a surrogate as I couldn’t afford to the price agencies were charging. After two bad experiences, I finally got one good person that we could afford. And God just sent money mysteriously.

Then when God wants to turn your story around, you know it’s just your time. I paid for one cycle at the hospital we used, already looking for money in case the first cycle did not work, guess what?


This is not your everyday testimony, I no get time to dey give testimony like some people wey go go church dey say “after waiting for 20 years, God blessed us with triplets, tell the journey when telling your testimony sisters, don’t let the holy sister at the back waiting for a similar miracle be thinking God doesn’t answer her prayers. Be real, stop pretending.


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